Lessons of a Pilbara Princess … continued …

I thought it’s been a while since I’ve written Lessons of a Pilbara Princess, in fact since I’ve written anything, so I thought I’d share with you all the amazing things I’ve learnt since I spoke to you last … especially now I’m becoming part of the scenery up here … can you believe it’s been 8 months??

  • Socks aren’t unisex …
  • There are no words to describe what it’s like to see someone at the supermarket wearing your clothes … even though they are technically not your clothes when said person bought them at your garage sale the day before … actually I think that’s a blog post in itself!!
  • Garage Sales are Westfield Shopping Centres up here.  No seriously, there are like 5 every weekend up here … and people turn up at 5.30am to bag a bargain before everyone else.  I really am not sure how I feel about this.  I’ll get back to you.
  • Choppers are not always helicopters.
  • When playing pool … if your opponent sinks the black ball it does not mean you’ve won … especially when they’ve already sunk all their coloured balls, and you’ve sunk none.
  • And while we’re on the subject of playing pool … it is possible to play pool for several hours and not sink a ball.
  • Drinking 4 of every flavour vodka cruisers in one session does not make you cool and does not give you the right to sing Rainbow Connection at the top of your lungs.  It gives you a blue tongue and makes you stupid.
  • 9 months is “shorter than a pregnancy” … Mr W when I said that there is less than 9 months until we get married.
  • If you ever find your favourite earrings are missing, check your partner’s fishing tackle box … earrings make great fishing lures … according to Mr W.
  • Safety glasses are acceptable optical attire up here … and in fact will make you fit in way more than Dolce & Gabanna ever will.  Just check me out in my new yellow tint Eyres … Paris, Milan … Pilbara.  And you can buy them from the hardware store … nuff said really.
  • Make sure when you fly you don’t stop in at the pub on the way to the airport … it may result in you arriving at the airport less than 30 minutes prior to your flight (28 to be exact), which will then result in you not being able to check in your luggage and have to have it couriered back the next day.  And … you know that “express” means nothing up here!
  • Getting up early is the new flannel shirt.  Going to bed at 8pm is just plain wrong.
  • 15 vodka cruisers in one sitting is just absurd.
  • If you’re thinking that I have a new found obsession with Vodka Cruisers, then you would be correct.  But before you judge me, ask yourself what is worse … not having any friends because you smell like Bundy, drinking cask wine (which is only available on Mondays and Tuesdays) or drinking Vodka Cruisers (which I may add are available seven days a week!!!)*

pp xx

*Since writing this, it has come to my attention that Cask Wine is in fact available seven days a week now.  Score.

Life Lessons of a Pilbara Princess

Well … I’ve been here nearly 3 weeks and in this short time I have learned so many lessons … many of which I will carry with me forever.  I thought I would share some of them with you … just in case you ever find yourself a bit north of the Tropic of Capricorn.

  • Apparently once you get a manual into 5th gear it is NOT like driving an automatic.
  • And while we are on the topic of gears and clutches (and no not the evening bag kind) … driving bare foot is much easier than in stilettos … or even thongs for that matter).
  • Always make sure you have alcohol in the house for any ocassion which may arise.  The fact that you cannot buy wine prior to 12pm may be hinderous to pre-lunch drinking sessions otherwise.  Just something I’ve learned.
  • Wine Time comes earlier when you live North of the Tropic of Capricorn … no seriously it does.  Something to do with the sun?
  • When your partner is on night shift and has only been asleep for 45 minutes … don’t burn your toast, thus setting off the smoke alarm and waking them up … they really don’t appreciate it.  However if you’re bored while waiting for them to wake up around 2pm, then the smoke alarm thing is always an option.
  • If someone tells you not to touch the settings on the washing machine, DON’T TOUCH THEM.  A flooded house will usually be the result and you will then have to spend an hour soaking up the water with towels when you realise the drains are blocked.
  • If you’re really unsure of the car you’re driving (mainly because it is a dirty great big four wheel drive with gears) and you’re worried you might kill someone upon entering the local Woolies carpark, then it’s best you park at least 1 km away at, say a local visitors centre, and walk into town.  This will avoid any minor, or major mishaps.  Although at some point you are going to have to go into that carpark … the weekly shopping will not carry itself that far.
  • Getting “dressed up” may have different translations depending on how far North you live.  Wearing jewellery to Woolies is definitely not essential … and stilettos are forbidden.
  • The wearing of stilettos to job interviews is also a bone of conention up here … if in doubt carry your thongs in a bag and swap them whilst in a quiet isle in the supermarket.  Just don’t get caught.
  • Sometimes the local supermarket runs out of meat, sometimes they run out of vegetables … and sometimes they run out of both.  It certainly makes for creative cooking.

Well … I hope these help you if you’re ever up this way …

pp xx