I thought it’s been a while since I’ve written Lessons of a Pilbara Princess, in fact since I’ve written anything, so I thought I’d share with you all the amazing things I’ve learnt since I spoke to you last … especially now I’m becoming part of the scenery up here … can you believe it’s been 8 months??
- Socks aren’t unisex …
- There are no words to describe what it’s like to see someone at the supermarket wearing your clothes … even though they are technically not your clothes when said person bought them at your garage sale the day before … actually I think that’s a blog post in itself!!
- Garage Sales are Westfield Shopping Centres up here. No seriously, there are like 5 every weekend up here … and people turn up at 5.30am to bag a bargain before everyone else. I really am not sure how I feel about this. I’ll get back to you.
- Choppers are not always helicopters.
- When playing pool … if your opponent sinks the black ball it does not mean you’ve won … especially when they’ve already sunk all their coloured balls, and you’ve sunk none.
- And while we’re on the subject of playing pool … it is possible to play pool for several hours and not sink a ball.
- Drinking 4 of every flavour vodka cruisers in one session does not make you cool and does not give you the right to sing Rainbow Connection at the top of your lungs. It gives you a blue tongue and makes you stupid.
- 9 months is “shorter than a pregnancy” … Mr W when I said that there is less than 9 months until we get married.
- If you ever find your favourite earrings are missing, check your partner’s fishing tackle box … earrings make great fishing lures … according to Mr W.
- Safety glasses are acceptable optical attire up here … and in fact will make you fit in way more than Dolce & Gabanna ever will. Just check me out in my new yellow tint Eyres … Paris, Milan … Pilbara. And you can buy them from the hardware store … nuff said really.
- Make sure when you fly you don’t stop in at the pub on the way to the airport … it may result in you arriving at the airport less than 30 minutes prior to your flight (28 to be exact), which will then result in you not being able to check in your luggage and have to have it couriered back the next day. And … you know that “express” means nothing up here!
- Getting up early is the new flannel shirt. Going to bed at 8pm is just plain wrong.
- 15 vodka cruisers in one sitting is just absurd.
- If you’re thinking that I have a new found obsession with Vodka Cruisers, then you would be correct. But before you judge me, ask yourself what is worse … not having any friends because you smell like Bundy, drinking cask wine (which is only available on Mondays and Tuesdays) or drinking Vodka Cruisers (which I may add are available seven days a week!!!)*
*Since writing this, it has come to my attention that Cask Wine is in fact available seven days a week now. Score.